"Is there a test today?"

Ok folks, it's been a little while since this experience but I will try to entertain you in this blog as I have for so many over the phone. Ladies and gentlemen, it's story time...get comfortable.

Friday, April 3rd I was scheduled to teach at Letchworth High School. Now, though I love teaching and having the opportunity to experience as many schools as I can (and of course hanging out with the fabulous Sarah Iacucci), Letchworth is an hour away and the pay for subs is well, less than a full tank of gas after taxes.

So off Friday morning in the glorious Rochester rain I went...to farm land. Now, I'm not a inner city kid by any means, but farm child I am not either. Letchworth and a lot of the surrounding area = FARM. When I originally got the call for the job I was told that the teacher I was subbing for was the Agriculture teacher. Agriculture? was this a joke? Only in Letchworth would they have an Agriculture class. Though hesitant and really wanting to see the lesson plans for the day before I got there I was not about to drive the 2 hours it would have taken, waste a tank of gas and honestly...even with the lesson plans the farm kids were still way ahead of me. So back to the drive - dreary? yes! literally talking to the busses in front of me trying to convince them to turn down side streets? scary, but true! Farms, tractors, random dogs, calf igloos, horses...you name it, I passed it.

So finally I'm there and thanks to the busses and the slow farm children meandering from their houses to them I'm there just in the nic of time. As I walk into the office in a semi-rush I learn that the teacher I am subbing for as a planning period right off the bat and my day doesn't start for another hour. Would it have been so hard for someone to mention that before this all???? Ok, so I'm there and over it. Down to the classroom I go as thoughts of what in the world I'm going to teach farm kids. How to harvest corn? Herd cattle? Saddle up horses? Fix tractors? This was going to be interesting.

Well, I was close. My first period watched a dvd about chickens and laying eggs. Thrilling I know. Sadly enough, the kids were bored out of their minds but I was quite intrigued. It's not every day you get to learn about mass producing eggs, climate control, shortening days to trick a chicken's internal clock, what egg shells are made out of, etc. Did you know that chicken's lay about 240 eggs a year! That's almost 1 every day! I'm sorry...that's like having a child almost every day. Props to the chickens!

Again, another planning period. This at least gave me the chance to read through a test that I needed to read aloud to a class towards the end of the day. I was more worried about making sure I knew all the "farmy" words that might be used in this test so these kids couldn't see totally through me.

Now, I've never known a school to have "educational tv" time as part of a class however, you guessed it, Letchworth does! After completing a reading section and answering 3 questions which took all of 7 minutes, my next class watched tv...and goofed off. Granted it was their last day before a 2 week spring break and I knew they would be a little crazy and there wouldn't be too much work to do, but still...it would have been nice for them to have something to do...even a farm crossword or word find would have been great. Of course there was the goofball of the class who created little paper signs that said "discovery" and taped it over the "Sci-Fi" logo on the tv screen. He apparently though this was funny for like 15 minutes...I found it humerous for about 15 seconds. Sci-Fi is not "educational tv." There were the rebelious girls and then my favorite, probably because I relate to them the best, the girls who sat quietly in their seats, shaking their heads and the goof and the rebelious loud others. Thank you Lord for those girls. It was the only sign that any of these kids had their heads screwed on straight.

"Is there a test today?" is one of my favorite questions. You might as well walk up and say "hey, I didn't study for this test and I'm wondering if I can convince you that I didn't know about it and see if I can take it another day. I realize that this is completely unfair to everyone else but I like the special attention and avoidance of consequences that I really fairly deserve"

Yes, it was test day in my next class followed by..."educational tv." Now, realize that I'm NYS Special Education certified and I'm used to modifications for all different aspects of learning however there was just something weird when I sent 5 students to the Learning Center for modifications (most likely getting the test read aloud) and only had 6 students left in the class! So one of the girls, we'll call her Molly, was sent to the Learning Center with the possibility that they may be able to establish modifications for her but it wasn't totally certain. Before she left I got a wonderful parting comment that was something to the tune of "Just so you know (I love it when it starts that way), they're going to send me back down." Ahh, love the attitude! And, before I knew it Molly came storming back into the room, "See! I told you they would send me back down!" and with that I blank test came flying, pages flapping in the wind, onto the desk and Molly not so quietly made her way back to seat where she continued to spurt and spudder her frustrations certainly interupting her non-modification needing classmates. Sooner than later she was back at the desk and "I need to see my counselor" came forcefully out of her mouth. Yes, yes she obviously did so away I sent her and again, she returned not too much later asking to write a note to her teacher.

I noticed another girl in the back of the room who seemed to not be taking her test either. I quietly made my way back to her and asked if she was going to fill out any of her answers. This sweet and innocent class rebel went by the name "Ms. ___," I'll call her Ms. Bemis for now. That right there should tell ya something. Ms. Bemis was not about to take or even try to fill out any of the answers. She let me know, so sweetly of course, that her teacher would let her take the test again whenever she wanted to. Ms. Bemis' sidekick who was seated next to her was so trying to resist the rebel urge and actually tried to fill out as much as she could of the test. I tried my hardest to have her at least guess on the few final answers she had blank, but she fell the peer pressure of rebeliousness and giving up. Gotta love it. ...follow it all with "educational tv."

Ms. Bemis actually joined me for the next hour as she and two lovely gentlemen took advantage of my lack of knowledge of regular routine. They spent their "study hall/lunch" hour with me messing around with the wireless computers and printing out papers for what looked to me like belonged in an English class. Ok, explain to me how this farm school...the one where K-12 is in ONE building has projectors hanging from the ceiling hooked to computers so you can play DVD's off of them, TV with massive cable and computers with wireless internet in the classrooms. Are you kidding me?? I know I have been out of school for 7 years, but still.

2 classes more...and they were bound to be interesting. First off, another test but this time I had to read the whole thing to them aloud. Let me set this one up for you. This classroom had lab tables and 9 students which thankfully for them meant they had a table to themselves. Who was in this class you ask? 9 lovely high school boys. What was the test on? Of all things, these poor boys had to have an entire test read to them on the subject of sex. I honestly felt bad for them. Thanks to Ms. Bemis and her ways, she had told some of the boys in this class already that I was "mean" and "made them sit in their assigned seats and be quiet." Riiiiiight...what part of watching dvd's and "educational tv" while allowing them to sit where ever they want was mean or going by a seating chart (which didn't exist in the first place)? Regardless, it seemed to help.

"What sexual organ creates sperm that travels....?" ooooh the fun of reading that test aloud. Those boys, not one of them, looked up even once until the test was completely over and done with and if you think they got all chatty afterwards...not a chance in the world. You'd think that was it, done and over with and nice and easy however of course there had to be one little catch. One of the boys was called down the the nurse in the middle of class for his medications and returned a short while later with a story of overdosing and his eyes rolling back in his head. Of course. But, after that all he was back to finish his test. I was reading aloud the last few questions to him as the others milled about quietly and it came to the end of the test where he had to write out his answers...which he refused to because they were "dirty and yucky" words. Now, you know me...well some of you do this well, and know that I'm not one to actually use technical anatomy terms for whatever reason and ironically I'm crouched in front of this 16/17 year old boy trying to convince him to write these "yucky" words so he gets credit for knowing the answers!

Equine class...last class of the day..thank goodness. 3 girls....yes, 3, total. Their job? SHINE THE HORSE SADDLE! Come on people...I know it's the last day, but lets find constructive projects. Oh, where was the horse saddle you ask? IN THE GREENHOUSE! Yes, the greenhouse which is connected to the school...ya know, the one where they are growing hay, corn, beans...cactus...oh yes, and the one that also has the 4 school pet rabbits (don't pet the bottom one...it pees when it gets excited so tells me one of the girls). I'm glad those rabbits where there because truly the girls had no interest in talking to me over their gossip and well...shining a horse saddle, especially one in such a bad condition as this one, wasn't going to take very long. I had pet rabbits when I was younger. My parents were shocked when their little "won't speak a word to anyone but family" daughter picked up the phone and called an add in the paper for a rabbit. Hey, their the ones who said if I called I could have it. They obviously didn't know how much I wanted this rabbit...they soon found out. So yes, I went back to my days of fluffy bunnies while in the greenhouse watching over my class of three.

So full circle Agriculture came with some random Bio in the middle. You really do have to remember to laugh through it all and look for the light at the end of the tunnel...and sometimes in the lights of oncoming cars for some inspiration :) I gotta little Iacucci time afterwards and life was grand. There is certainly something in the water out there in farm country...and it's not something I would suggest drinking!