"Everything whats?"

Who in the world writes a book called Everything Poops? I suppose I should ask more importantly, why or who has the time to write a book with that title? I happened upon this publication while I was babysitting the other day and no it's not a joke. Now, I grabbed Dr. Suess, a classic fun kids book to read to the little munchkins while they were slurping away on their gigantic ring pops (given to them by their mother before she left) at 9:30am. One of the girls jumped off the couch and ran to the bookcase where she retrieved this unforgettable read with an even more unforgettable title.

In a nutshell this book has illustrations of various animals and what their waste looks like. Now, this wouldn't have been so disturbing however the lovely obviously altered author of this classic decided to add what human waste looks like and even worse the illustrator drew a picture of a child, on a toilet in the middle of his business. I'm sorry, but there is something VERY wrong with this entire thing. Have you even though of what publisher decided to print this??? OR better yet...how do you pitch this book to a publisher???

Yes, this is the farm family. Now to save you time I will make this short and just for laughs...

• I arrived at the farm to have the father (who I hadn't yet met) not even invite me in the house until he realized I was just standing in the driveway while he continued on with a side conversation.
• When I did get into the house I was greeted by two full buckets of baby geese and baby ducks. Cute, of course, but not expected at all. I have no idea where they got the geese babies since they don't have geese on the farm but I'm done asking questions.
• Again, I thought this killer pigs may actually bust through their 8 inch high electric fence and eat me alive as they barrelled down a hill in their "pen" to greet us.
• Likewise, I thought the steer was also going to charge and end my life. A door in the back of a side garage opens up and straight into the steer's pen. The land that is in the steer's pen backs up to the garage and is about 7ft below the garage floor so when you open the door it drops off. After the lovely children showed me the door and all took their chance in the doorway looking at their oversized pet I took my turn and what I saw was a very confused, serious looking, pretty ticked off steer about 10-12ft away that at any point could have easily decided that day was my last.
• Chickens NEVER stop making noise.
• I witnessed a rooster and chicken gettin' it on. Discrete, but disturbing.
• Checkers, the Pitt Bull, is a sweet and adorable dog that thinks he's one of the kids.
• Jumped on a trampoline....with ducks underneath.
• Strangely, the cat and chickens are pretty darn good friends....that's an odd site.
• I tried to take a kids on a walk around their property, however the oldest informed me that he didn't want to go because there were "huge spiders and snakes" on the path. I immediately decided I'd rather not go too!

I've tried to wrap my head around it all however I'm not sure it's worth the effort. I just sit back, laugh and wonder how any of it is possible...